It is weird that, after all the hype and worries, there was no results being released last Friday.
I certainly did not expect multiple schools to deviate their historical timeline this year, while they have followed them to the dot in previous years.
So this feels...empty? Today I am not even as hyped as last week, despite some results might be released tonight.
Perhaps I am getting used to the disappointment. After all, it won't surprise me anymore if nothing came out for everybody until this Friday.
I think the applications means much to me as it is a career change. I am not a fresh graduate who directly applies to graduate school. Out of a grant obligation, I am working in the industry on something unrelated to what i studied. (I suppose that's the case for most physics graduates
I decided that I want to return to grad school as I like this much better than my work. You're right that my profile might have influenced my expectations, as I think I have done my preparations the right way and now I am haunted by the fear of getting rejected to my dream schools due to my being away from academia for three years
It was the only thing (I believe?) that I went out of the usual track, as I thought I would prefer an industrial job to a RA/TA position upon my first degree. RA/TA also pays much less, but it is not the only reason
I realized last weekend that it is not a great idea to put unnecessary decisions over this admission process.
Resigning from my job is one decision I have to make should I get admitted, but previously I stacked more and more decisions that I could have decided regardless of the results. Maybe I was looking for an excuse to be procrastinating those smaller decisions, but now i know that this is not something that anyone should do.