changing school
Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:05 pm
Hello there,
I currently finished my first year in PhD program in one of University of California campuses. but i'm not happy...I am 27 years old and i have a feeling that it is getting late for me. I was a very smart and "first" place student in my country with a unlimited love to study Astronomy. all my family lives in US and due to my age i could not get my green card with them. Anyway, i came to US at 2006 with my B.A. in physics and M.S. in physics/ astronomy. my visa process to F1 visa wasted my time for 1.5 year! and in this time i was disappointed and mostly depressed. last year "like a miracle" i found a very NICE professor who i happened to work with. My problem is the department i am working with. i hate the department!!!! after a year and a half i hate this department..... the teachers are all (except 2!) acting like a jerk and the worst is they are quite happy and honored for their manner!!! 7 teachers i had during first year only ONE was good!!!! our classes are a bad joke and........ beside all this awful education, they have one of the hardest prelim exams in this campus!!!!! this is unbelievable... and aside that the faculty members in here are NOT so good with each other and you know what that means to poor students...... they clearly abuse each other... i am so tired and i want to run!!!! my adviser is new in this department and he+my math professor will be the only ones who i miss.....
beside the department problems i have one other problem... i LOVE LOVE LOVE Astronomy and where i am is good but not good enough.... i found it very far from my dreams.. i always loved to be in a astronomy department with lots of research and active people... i love scientific meetings and friendly people.... i prefer discussion sections and a little bit group study... i am very energetic and very enthusiasm for my major. i LOVE experimental works and making astronomical instrumentation... i love building stuff... but when i think deep almost NON of these exist for me in where i am. My adviser is a wonderful person but he doesn't have a successful group... i am his only student! his lab is not ready.. and due to all these problems i was getting really dull during last year. i did wonderful for my first prelim exams and exams but i just can't tolerate and ignore i am in going trough and i screw up in my last two prelim exams.... with full respect to Chinese people but my class mate were %55 chinese students and they didn't even bother to reply to my hello!!!! you might think it is easy but it is not....
in the other hand my adviser is the ONLY person who works on astronomy in our department so basically i am isolated.. no astronomy events, no astronomy news,..no one to talk with... i have no idea what are possible opportunities for me out side in the world, i have no idea what and where are the related meetings, new research subjects, or any opportunities... i am using interment all the time but it is just useless to march alone......
any way, i want to move on... i think i have lost my last 3 years and that makes me nervous... i had finished my M.S. in 9 months with 2 articles and now just look at me!!! i feel like a looser!
after being smart and successful for a lifetime i feel like a looser today! looser in sense of what i dreamed of and what i am... My dream is to go to a very active astronomy department. I feel UC Santa Cruz is the one. i am planning to visit there and see how i can go there.
Now i have 2 chose:
1- stick to where i am and study hard for my second and last chance of prelim exams in here.. in here if any thing bad happens i lose my visa (i am in F1 visa)...........
2- move on! ... i like this chose myself but i am afraid if this is a good idea to start over... i have forgotten every thing... it is 5 years that i haven't studied Q.M. or Thermodynamics or classical mechanics... i am not sure how to start over and i think it is so hard but in the other hand this is what i really want... do i have to go trough all TOEFL, GRE general, GRE physics,.... tests???
If any one can help me with this situation i would be happy to have your advise.....
I currently finished my first year in PhD program in one of University of California campuses. but i'm not happy...I am 27 years old and i have a feeling that it is getting late for me. I was a very smart and "first" place student in my country with a unlimited love to study Astronomy. all my family lives in US and due to my age i could not get my green card with them. Anyway, i came to US at 2006 with my B.A. in physics and M.S. in physics/ astronomy. my visa process to F1 visa wasted my time for 1.5 year! and in this time i was disappointed and mostly depressed. last year "like a miracle" i found a very NICE professor who i happened to work with. My problem is the department i am working with. i hate the department!!!! after a year and a half i hate this department..... the teachers are all (except 2!) acting like a jerk and the worst is they are quite happy and honored for their manner!!! 7 teachers i had during first year only ONE was good!!!! our classes are a bad joke and........ beside all this awful education, they have one of the hardest prelim exams in this campus!!!!! this is unbelievable... and aside that the faculty members in here are NOT so good with each other and you know what that means to poor students...... they clearly abuse each other... i am so tired and i want to run!!!! my adviser is new in this department and he+my math professor will be the only ones who i miss.....
beside the department problems i have one other problem... i LOVE LOVE LOVE Astronomy and where i am is good but not good enough.... i found it very far from my dreams.. i always loved to be in a astronomy department with lots of research and active people... i love scientific meetings and friendly people.... i prefer discussion sections and a little bit group study... i am very energetic and very enthusiasm for my major. i LOVE experimental works and making astronomical instrumentation... i love building stuff... but when i think deep almost NON of these exist for me in where i am. My adviser is a wonderful person but he doesn't have a successful group... i am his only student! his lab is not ready.. and due to all these problems i was getting really dull during last year. i did wonderful for my first prelim exams and exams but i just can't tolerate and ignore i am in going trough and i screw up in my last two prelim exams.... with full respect to Chinese people but my class mate were %55 chinese students and they didn't even bother to reply to my hello!!!! you might think it is easy but it is not....
in the other hand my adviser is the ONLY person who works on astronomy in our department so basically i am isolated.. no astronomy events, no astronomy news,..no one to talk with... i have no idea what are possible opportunities for me out side in the world, i have no idea what and where are the related meetings, new research subjects, or any opportunities... i am using interment all the time but it is just useless to march alone......
any way, i want to move on... i think i have lost my last 3 years and that makes me nervous... i had finished my M.S. in 9 months with 2 articles and now just look at me!!! i feel like a looser!
after being smart and successful for a lifetime i feel like a looser today! looser in sense of what i dreamed of and what i am... My dream is to go to a very active astronomy department. I feel UC Santa Cruz is the one. i am planning to visit there and see how i can go there.
Now i have 2 chose:
1- stick to where i am and study hard for my second and last chance of prelim exams in here.. in here if any thing bad happens i lose my visa (i am in F1 visa)...........
2- move on! ... i like this chose myself but i am afraid if this is a good idea to start over... i have forgotten every thing... it is 5 years that i haven't studied Q.M. or Thermodynamics or classical mechanics... i am not sure how to start over and i think it is so hard but in the other hand this is what i really want... do i have to go trough all TOEFL, GRE general, GRE physics,.... tests???
If any one can help me with this situation i would be happy to have your advise.....